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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Married to a stranger, reason please!!!

Married to a stranger, reason please!!!

Marriage was and is and will be for a long time one of the most important part of an Indian girl or boy’s life, from the childhood many of us just dream about getting married, the dresses, the fun the colorful ceremony and all, our imagination runs wildly since we start playing with our gudda guddy toys. It’s like a destination for our whole life, and all of us just live according to the expectations of this one ceremony, how a girl should act her whole life depends on her future marriage, for a very long period the importance of boys was grew because of the importance of groom in Indian marriages, the marriage industry control many aspect of our day to day life. Now why this marriage is so important, it is known to us as a sacred relation, the love or family gets its validation with this ceremony, nothing could go bad after marriage, this one thing can purify all bad stuff. Is it just a social contract between two people, that no economic problem can come later, is it an identity to the girls they are now bound with someone forever like for next 7 lives or so. Now why this is so so much important in our society, why should anyone get married, what are the reasons behind a marriage? The reason and only the reason itself can determined if the ceremony is sacred or not, a sacred pure reason can make a marriage most adorable thing in the world and a depraved reason can turn it to a huge hypocrisy.

I grew up in a small Indian town and witnessed like hundreds of wedding, it is a huge number I know but it is true every year I had to or still have to attend one or three wedding ceremonies for sure, family, friends, neighbors and so on, I always liked the ceremony, the whole energetic fun part but some time I never liked the back stage events, the sadness of a girl living her whole life behind forever, the heart broken father and mother left behind, now a days there is very little family left with 3 or 4 children, it’s like one or two, sometime it is hard to see a whole home becoming empty just like that, it is sad, then the pressure of money,  the things behind the wedding alter like new bed, wardrobes, freeze, TV and stuff looks like a house hold supermarket why the girl going to a house where is nothing, why not girl and boy make a home of their own and not pressuring poor parents to make their home for them?

Now the topic of love, the whole life we heard don’t talk to a stranger, and in a arrange marriage often after a month or a week even the girl has to move forever with a stranger, how can a person can know a person or fall in love with a person in that short period of time, or falling in love is not necessary for our marriage? Like a girl has to deal with everything after a marriage, even a boy has to do the same thing. So why is getting married if you don’t love your future partner, what is the reason behind that? It is not a logical or good explanation behind that, we all witnessed sometime that if a girl is not good in studies or failing an exam or having a boy problem only solution is a marriage, nothing matters no job no economic independency no feelings, because after marriage her husband will be responsible for her, he will provide her with food clothing, day to day things, he will be her guardian and her own flesh and blood parents will be free from their duties of protecting someone else’s property. It is so brutally ridiculous to process in a mature free minded head.  

What is more pure than love and respect for someone, it is so sweet to spend the whole life with someone that you love and respect and adore, for better and worst, but why not getting that chance why not make a life before change it completely. Some of my friends felt so relived after getting married that they don’t have to think about job or study or for a career anymore, it was their career, they need their husband they depended on them are they love them or committing to a social contract for a better, idle and safe life. It is not bad for a girl to be a housewife and nurture her family her loved ones but if that became an excuse to do nothing with life or a tool of avoiding the real herding of life is it still so pure?

Two people should unite for their common love not for economic pressure or social expectation, marriage should be a beautiful part of life a way to celebrate the love and happiness not a contract to fulfill the materialistic needs, and it should be for right reasons. A girl born in the family a common poor family the first thought come to her peers that how they will able to get her a good married life, the first glimpse of a baby stairs a fear in her parent's mind, not joy, not love but fear, all of because boys are important not girls, because a boy has to take care of a girl as a father as a brother or as a husband, he may be wanted and special but the immense pressure on him is undeniable because they can’t expect a life partner, they have to be a guardian. So how it is fair to any one boy or a girl? The lack of responsibility, freedom is sad, the power the guardianship the authority is dangerous, and how this peculiar dynamo can create a sacred relation? I don’t know never was able to get this concepts, what is going on for a very long time is not word on a stone, if past define could us then we never should have evolved from apes the homosepians. 

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