Festive feelings in a festive day….

Festive feelings in a festive day….

Festive days, with lots of colors bright lights, lots of music new dresses and welcoming Devi Durga into our lives, the 4 days of Durga puja is one of the most important festival for a Bengali girl like me, it always brings the nostalgic memory of childhood excitement and fun, it’s like living a dream again and again and again but with each time something change. When I was a child it was all fun and color the brightness all around, growing up started to understand the legend and myths around the Devi Durga tradition, always liked the story of Devi Durga destroying the demon Mahisasur ith all the weapons given her by other gods, but for us Bengalis its like welcoming our own girl with her children in our home or her paternal home for whole four days, then in the Dasami she leaves to her home again, the morning program in morning radio about the story and the Chani Mantra reading by Birendra Krishna Vadra became a must part of the beginning of the Durga puja festival, the day Mahalaya  usually starts the real excitement among us. New dress for each day, decorating the house, enjoying every day with family and friends, visiting all the Mandaps of the city and long talks with friend, just been amazing always, we all wait for these days the whole year, then it pass so quickly.

But with all the lights and color all around darkness always  catches my eye, the shadows lurking in the lights the sad faces behind the happy ones are getting clear every year, when we just shop new dress for each day many little kids just don’t have a single dress to wear, the people searching for foods in happy festive days and returning home without any when we just wasting many food without even thinking, the money all clubs are spending for a bigger and brighter decoration theme for the puja and the constant nonstop music covering all up, while some people don’t have enough money to buy a bread, I always enjoyed the big themes and the luxurious celebrations until now, now I am more like feeling guilty every time want to do something fun, simplicity is what I will enjoy maybe, it is may be hypocritical for me to think like that, but still do, may be thinking like that also spoiled some fun for my friends.

The memories of my childhood and festive days was so more innocent and fun now it is just a mare memory now the feelings has changed with me, may be the celebration for Devi Durga who represent the victory of light over dark over evil should be all about fairness and equality not show off and glamour but holding hands with all around us and light a candle and worship the goodness in our souls. Still phony feelings; of my heart living a good life is what making me so untruthful to the words I have written. But still this day the day of Bijaya Dasami I am sad, I will miss these 4 days and I will wait for the next festive days. This is curious that how the bright lights help me to see beyond the colors of festivals.