Living in a Nightmare..!!!!

Living in a Nightmare..!!!!

I am having frequent nightmares, every time I close my eyes I woke up with a start & sweat but I forget what I have been dreaming about. Still I crave for a sleep and dreams, but I don’t know what I am seeing in my dreams and what is making me so afraid!  Once I thought I have to remember what I am dreaming, it is happening in my brain so I have to train it to remember. I tried and tried one-step at a time; I started to remember glimpses of my dream. Then one day I remember all of it. I was not having a nightmare I was alive, having a life, a beautiful Utopian life, with bright light, love, laughter and peace. The sun shining bright with a pleasant warm feeling, the moon in the night so silvery and gentle, I read, I sing I smile and wonder about anywhere I want, but then I come to a dreadful realization that I am dreaming, this happy place is not my life it is not anybody’s life, it cannot be reality, it is a dreamworld a neverland one must call it that I read in the stories. The land I live never known peace, though it craved for it, the sun shines but with hate and anger, people can’t read, sing or say anything that they want, if they are nobody then they don’t matter, if their words don’t match to the beliefs of the people with deadly weapons they must die like nothing. Here one word is enough reason to kill someone. But we are well designed to withstand any violence nay inhumanity, maybe we died one day without realizing, that is why nothing affects us, we hardly ever scream in desperation, we hardly ever cry for anything real. We are more evolved now, emotionless machines. And among us who accidentally left with little emotion and not quite machine yet we kill them, we try to kill their mind or their body, though mind is more important and dangerous because a creative, curious, rebellious mind can infect many more so kill the mind, the body will die eventually. But do machines dream? May be they do, may be the evolution is not yet done. Maybe we are still a little human inside.

We scared of death, because we don’t know what is waiting for us behind the dark veil, but what if we know where we were going back if we woke up? In a dream that so beautiful and peaceful waking up is a curse and it is heartbreaking and terrifying, it is bad not knowing but it is much more worst that knowing where we are and where we have to live in fear in hate in despair, we cannot avoid, we cannot change. So I woke up terrified with a start and my brain forgets the wonderful dream just to remain sane in this cruel brutal reality. In dreams I live, and I die when I wake up. 

Children of Fear & Blood!!!!

Children of Fear & Blood!!!!

Do you still believe in humanity? Do you live a peaceful life? Does your heart still beat for others? Then I don’t know where you live, because where I am from there is no humanity left, hearts are cold, no one knows what peace actually means, maybe we can dream about it or read in books but we don’t know what it is. Where I live there is only bloodshed, violence, hate, the eyes are full of anger & frustration. Hearts are bleeding, on the roads on the clothes even the sky is red, can’t you see? Then maybe you are blind, or just shut your eyes close, may be you are thinking if you can’t see the monster then the monster will leave you alone. May be you can ignore it as much as possible to make it go away. It is scary to look, all we know all we hope for all we have left is already gone, with every bullet that took an innocent life we lose everything pure everything sweet, every drop of humanity now gone, with every scream with every drop of tear we are dying in agony.

When we read in the paper something scary or saw a horrible video still our hearts don’t skip a beat, still our eyes don’t get teary then it is all done, we are the children of fear and blood, we cope in this world, we don’t even close our eyes anymore, we relish in pain, we learned to smile in face of death. Do you still know what’s joy looks like on the face of innocence?  Do you feel the love around you? Then I envy you, I envy the world where still humanity can be found. But not here our dreams are even bloody now. We are walking like corpses only flesh & blood no feeling no soul inside, we growl we eat we breathe we spread poison in the air. We don’t get scared any more, we don’t even flinch, we are the children of fear & blood; we are habituated with violence, we now look in the eyes of the monster & welcome it to devour us. We relish pain, we have nothing left inside anymore, with every bullet, every scream, every tear of the innocence we created our own hell and now there is no way to escaping the horrible destiny that we made for us. Any road we are going to choose will lead us to the same point. So I ask you again, do you know what is peace? What is humanity? Or what is love? Then you must be in a different world because we don’t have that anymore.