Freedom!!!!

       Freedom the best word of them all, everything we need we desire we think we love all is worthless without sweet sweet freedom. Freedom of mind freedom of thinking freedom of believing is essential to live as a human being. All happiness feels like a delusion an empty space without freedom of soul.

      But the thing is are we really free???? Let me rephrase it 'am I really free?' that's a very complicated question...cause it  is feeling if you feel inside of you inside of your very existence that you are free then its real ...but do I feel that inside me???? It is one of the main questions of my life. I am a grown up (which just I believe not my parents apparently) I believe freely without any pressure, I don't believe in miracles but turning a Caterpillar in a beautiful butterfly feels like magic, I don't believe that there is a god who is conducting every bad or good things in my life without my concern, but when I face a choice between right or wrong I feel an unknown pressure surrounding me.....is that feeling is god? are we part of our own god?? cause we all know somewhere deep whats right & whats wrong. So I am free to believe or free to choose, so may be I am free.

      'May be' is not my favorite word choice, one day I was very happy with a reason of course; but wanted to sing without any reason wanted to smile but couldn't do that, because I was walking on the street, so my conscious  mind did not allow me to do those silly little things I acted like a grown up civilized person but not like a free person, so my subconscious mind was screaming "want freedom....I want to be free" I realized that I did a very bad thing I had enslaved my mind with all rules and training of my whole life. My soul is a slave inside my flesh & blood body. I betrayed my own existence I tamed it, somewhere along the way I did lose my wild free mind, am I happy? yes I am, am I living a respected life? yes I am living...now am I really free??

       Free is when we are not afraid of anything....but we are afraid...aren't we? we are afraid of the dark, we are afraid of the unknown, we are afraid of government rich people cruel people gangs terrorist insects every thing is scary so living is scary....so how can freedom exist in those afraid minds? it can't, sometime I am free to think but can't speak of my mind cause I am afraid of the consequences, sometime I just can't think freely cause I am afraid of myself. so I am a slave of my fear, what is that fear? that's the question everyone is scared of ....which is funny. We feel weak cause we fear power but fear is the factor who gave the birth of power and created difficulties for freedom. Sometimes we just don't have freedom of speech freedom of expression. I am so afraid of every part I do how everyone going to react but in that process I am loosing my only friend only aim my sweet 'freedom'.......

      what is freedom actually??? I want to know in real....and how can I be free????? I want my sweet sweet freedom