I will sleep after I die…
It is like
waking up after long winter hibernation, in a cold dark cozy comfortable place
to gather energy and life force for a new season a known but new season, to
start the struggle of life again, to be tired and weak again to assemble all
the new experience, yes it is exactly like after hibernation. All that quite
time mind thinks, continuously without stopping for a moment in dreams in every
waking moment the mind never rest never sleeps, it knows only to process the
collected data, the emotions, the memories. So I was in a trance I am who was
resting not my mind for once, it was racing, working thinking and trying to
communicating with me it was trying to wake me up. After all I was wasting a
huge amount of time in rest in sleep in not doing anything, which is some time
my most favorite thing to do.
In my life
time in my home I never witnessed this kind of cold environment before, it was
a new winter like no other before, it was fun at first all the outings, picnics
and other outing stuffs, December with Christmas cakes and December ended with
last days of 2012, new year of 2013, not good news everywhere, some horrible memories
of the past and present a new hope for better life in new near future, all was
happening around me including be but still I was in rest in a stop mode, maybe
I was processing everything, watching and feeling and dreaming about some new dreams new goals. I changed
after the winter a little bit, got a little angrier got a little bit restless
bored and frustrated.
I have
been sleeping for a long time, not living, just moving forward is not living,
if it is then it is a waste of a lifetime, I was just berating in and out, walking
on and on, feeling nothing. But it ends now; it was a metamorphosis may be I
was in hibernation a winter thing now I am feeling the sun rays upon my skin I
am awake my mind is inside me screaming and crouching to make me conscious of
my surroundings, I was walking in a line for a very long time, I was singing a
common song for so long I was seeing the same dream as everyone else now it is enough,
I want to change I want to walk in a new direction I want to sing a new song, I
don’t want to sleep anymore, I will
sleep again when my journey will end when it will be only thing to do I will
sleep on the day of my demise.
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