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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I will sleep after I die…




I will sleep after I die


It is like waking up after long winter hibernation, in a cold dark cozy comfortable place to gather energy and life force for a new season a known but new season, to start the struggle of life again, to be tired and weak again to assemble all the new experience, yes it is exactly like after hibernation. All that quite time mind thinks, continuously without stopping for a moment in dreams in every waking moment the mind never rest never sleeps, it knows only to process the collected data, the emotions, the memories. So I was in a trance I am who was resting not my mind for once, it was racing, working thinking and trying to communicating with me it was trying to wake me up. After all I was wasting a huge amount of time in rest in sleep in not doing anything, which is some time my most favorite thing to do.

In my life time in my home I never witnessed this kind of cold environment before, it was a new winter like no other before, it was fun at first all the outings, picnics and other outing stuffs, December with Christmas cakes and December ended with last days of 2012, new year of 2013, not good news everywhere, some horrible memories of the past and present a new hope for better life in new near future, all was happening around me including be but still I was in rest in a stop mode, maybe I was processing everything, watching and feeling and dreaming  about some new dreams new goals. I changed after the winter a little bit, got a little angrier got a little bit restless bored and frustrated.

I have been sleeping for a long time, not living, just moving forward is not living, if it is then it is a waste of a lifetime, I was just berating in and out, walking on and on, feeling nothing. But it ends now; it was a metamorphosis may be I was in hibernation a winter thing now I am feeling the sun rays upon my skin I am awake my mind is inside me screaming and crouching to make me conscious of my surroundings, I was walking in a line for a very long time, I was singing a common song for so long I was seeing the same dream as everyone else now it is enough, I want to change I want to walk in a new direction I want to sing a new song, I don’t want to sleep anymore, I will sleep again when my journey will end when it will be only thing to do I will sleep on the day of my demise.


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