One chapter from my story!!

One chapter from my story

I always believed, that life is a fiction, full of drama, adventure, exploration and mystery, with a great storyline, never looked it as a reality show, maybe I am a theatrical person, can’t deny that, emotional rollercoaster and lots of expression is really fun for me. Still it is, maybe this sounds a lot crazy, but it is like a movie without any proper background music, and no one knows what will be the climax or when? In my life all the pieces just fits together in the big picture, how I am today those little scenes decided, the bad or good experiences were really necessary, but some of them really sucked big-time, some of them were sweeter than a cheesy movie line or honey.

What I want or what I need never matched, I needed oxygen, education, food on my plate, love from my parents, some friends some enemy here and there some strangers and I got all that, but what I want is a totally different story, maybe impractical even crazy for me to write or say loudly. It is funny, and that is why I call my life fiction, cause all I do is imagine what I want to do, and how will I achieve all that, but sometimes don’t really appreciates what I got and what I needed. May be my father is right that in this age everyone dreams crazy and feel the life as a fiction but with time everything just round up in reality and only we get what we need not what we want, but it is the wisdom of my parents, and I am not wise enough, what a joke I have no, even little bit of a wise bone in my body, also still this life seems to me as a big old fiction novel whose main character is me and full of drama and mystery all around with different chapters.

I miss my grandma (mamma) for all the fiction in my life, I really miss her a lot, she was the first person who told me stories, the character larger than life, and she could tell story nonstop, as a child I believed she did her majors in storytelling, but now I can see she was a genius, who was able to makeup stories nonstop for her granddaughter, she always made me the centre character so still I do or believe. Told here before that, what I need I got, and every part of my life just fit marvelously, every person came to my life had a proper reason or lesson to teach me, one of the most important character among them was my Mamma (grandma), a very big emotional piece of my life, it was a lifetime for me full of stories and love. But it is really very hard for me that I lost her when I was in class six, in a morning my mother told me that she was gone, I didn’t cry, why I don’t know, I was just sat and looked around, but never cried like I should have, now tears rolls down from my eyes whenever I talk about her but not back then, I never believed that she is really gone or even that is possible for someone so loving to leave the love ones behind just like that, it was not a happy ending so I denied it as any ending at all. I have pictures of my Mamma but not a picture together not that memory of both of us is in my hand, just in my brain and heart. I wonder now why I did not cry like hell, my heart is still broken a little because I had very little time with her but it was a full chapter of my novel.

I don’t know when my story will end and how it will end and what else I am going to find in-between, but some chapter of my story is very precious to me, among of which I wrote about today, the chapter was full of the memory and love of my Mamma.